count the blessings or rue the dissapointment?

2 years ago. it was tragedy to say the least. at about this, we were all gathered at the a&e wondering if the clot in the brain could go away.

just last year, it was a case of watching a sad sob story or one tree hill if i don rem wrongly, wondering when i would actually find myself in a right relationship.

this year, things are a little different but some things just don ever ever change.

2009 was a little productive if u ask me, im legal and definitely responsible for all kinds of actions that i act on. change of jobs/industries, done with the service, broken away from several severe vices of the past and i even brought someone home for the first time ever.. of course, ive found myself a little sweetie pie.

but a cloud literally hangs over my head. something is missing. i know u give me everything that u can afford to give and theres really very little left to give me and for me to ask for. but i need u to know that sometimes, i feel like a fish out of water. before we got together, i was having tonnes of fun at night but i never felt loved.

i guess its the opposite now. i am asking for a lot but i just cant deal with somethings now. there was only one reason why im staying home if u don realise. i actually thought that since u cant physically be with me, the next best thing is to talk to u till the time comes. guess that didnt really work out. honestly it sucks knowing that i cant spend my weekends and holidays with u. what makes it worse is year after year, im made to suffer this again and again.

i swear i don think im asking for too much. i just wanna physically spend special eves and nights with my loved/special one. thats all i want. why cant anyone grant me this? ever?

7 day mile - the frames

once in a while u get hurt.

and then it triggers thoughts.

how did it all happen?

and if u do more soul searching, u end up realising that the pple that hurt u most are the ones that happened to be the ones that u love most.

dig deeper and then u realise the ugly stuff.

u prob have inadvertently hurt the pple that love u loads too. from the little things to the big actions, they all don matter. chances are, things have a way of screwing u over.

what goes around, comes around. karma rears its ugly head. again.

long time coming

long long long time.

the birthday was all good and many ways possible but it didnt feel as symbolic and significant as it should have.

i sincerely believe that a huge part of it is due to how ive been the way i am, a partial 21 year old since several thousands of weeks ago.

the last 2 songs played before the clock struck 12 to bring the day to an end were symbolic, to say the least. song 2 and bad day by fuel. 1 has willed me thru everything thru the year, and the other as though to remind me about how i really wasted my special day with my dangerously lazy sleepy habits.

then, i started thinking. a lot has been happening since may 8th and i thank god for the day u came along. u said that u were skeptical at the start, i probably felt worse than that but kept it to myself. u seemed, at first, like any one of the others that came and left very quickly.

time has really proven me wrong and i really can't emphasis on everything u have provided me with. everything u've done, its been nothing short of sweet and i appreciate if sixtyfolds.

in you i have probably found what i looked for for the past 2 years and i hope that for the rest of my life, u're the first thing in the morning i think of, and last person i talk to at night =)