flashback eh. to a year ago. i rem myself sitting in front of that pale looking cupboard inside that lifeless room of strangers telling myself that everything wud end. soon. one year on. it sure as hell isnt soon enuff. as i sat there one year ago, i rem being really tired, drained and afraid of what was den my arch nemisis which came in the form of really thick protective gear. now, its more of a fren. i wish i cud actually be doing it now. i mean. i wud rather work my ass of from 8-5 and den get my night off for time with my family n myself. sure as hell isnt the case.
so yes. i have my options totally open but it seems like a long way away from being in the position i long to be. sigh
on a brighter note. the iphone works alright now. the whole sms bug seems to have stopped, albeit the duration it will work for is unknown. i hope it does for a long long time. in a week, i will know of the success of upgrading its version and den b able to tell my frens of it. amazing thing was that it seemed to have only taken half an hour for this to work. wow. why did i procrastinate in the first place.
next up. trying to fit nes roms in. i need it.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
stagnation
in the words of a certainn fren. the fireman test. oh yes. it is tmr. and i had like 20 hrs notice. tts like freaking ripoff. do u know it cud potentially be worth 1800 dollars worth of rubbish i cud pay for, which happens to include a license which is suddenly vanishing. well anyhow, yes the fireman test. god dammit.
oh yes. ive been looking high and low and thinking where the fuck my rich dad poor dad is. it took my an entire week to realise that i havent got it back from a certainl someone i lent it too. u see, my sudden realization of my stagnating financial life freaks me out. i shuld certainly be making use of the time. its been said before, start young n u freaking sluts cant catch up with me. and i know i needa read and refresh myself with all that stuff i enriched myself with pre-ns period.
driving was apparently scary. his words and i quote, "we'll start from here today. don't worry, aint no cars. just drive slow." er. sorry sir but slow in my dictonary is an overstatement. i drive at like 2km/h. i swear when i was driving and looking at my rearview mirror, half the time i felt bad for hogging the road. esp at the turns. i can sense from the car's body language (wth is this i know) that they wanna drive but i was like a fat guy at the entrance of a train door, no one cud pass me by. thats besides the point. it was one hell of a driving lesson till the last 20 mins. i lost interest, patience n a whole load of composure. i just didnt wanna drive anymore n i culdnt get the car to stop at traffic lights properly. scary shit i know. maybe just maybe the driving genes werent passed down properly. malfunctioned sumwhere along the way.
Monday, April 14, 2008
its been awhile
cue stain song.
its been a dam long time. so long that im suddenly the seeming frontrunner for this. its weird how i am. well deep in me im actually clueless. im hiding it all behind that face of knowing it all. well im the last person that shuld actually be running for the post. from operating the machines to doing a broad jump, im never the best, 2nd best at most. well its hard to explain whats wrong with my but i shuldnt really worry considering how its not even something that is confirmed.
all that talk of awards and shit. i swear ill be disheartened if i don get anything. he always say that bullshit bout how when u work, it comes straight from ur heart n u don do it hoping for recognition. but on the hindsight, u actually want to b recognised for the efforts uve put in. i mean think of it this way, i was never paid to do the work im currently doing at the border of the country and how i was thrust straight into action shuld actually be rewarded. i was thrown into the wilderness literally on the first day, albeit the fact it was 40 days ago, it feels like a fucking lifetime. the abilitt to be able to get away from all the current bullshit we're in is as tempting as the urge i have to go out there and get myself that packet of prata. only thing thats only pulling me back is the fact that i actually just went jogging and did crunches! im not gonna let all that hard work go to waste. and that actually applies to all that ive done at the border. i mean. i cud get myself that prata/go for the new job and pple will 4get my efforts from before/that madness of running cud go to waste in an instance! u cud that geist. its not put in place respectively in terms of the sentence really. n i know of a person whom upon reading this will kill me for writing like that.
in any case. the sights of many pple doing things that are usually done in private is quite irritating. its like sign from god in its most obvious form. its soo in ur face that its like the middle finger i show everyone in the morning when i wake up. god literally cut me open with a knife, poured salt on me and rubbed it in reallll deep. i cud die upon the posting of this but its true. it really is.
oh yes. stalling a manual car is my new hobby. i cant seem to stop. my left leg is retarded. is just doesnt wanna work with the right one. its like playing drums except that this one doesnt create any music/noise, it kills lives.
its been a dam long time. so long that im suddenly the seeming frontrunner for this. its weird how i am. well deep in me im actually clueless. im hiding it all behind that face of knowing it all. well im the last person that shuld actually be running for the post. from operating the machines to doing a broad jump, im never the best, 2nd best at most. well its hard to explain whats wrong with my but i shuldnt really worry considering how its not even something that is confirmed.
all that talk of awards and shit. i swear ill be disheartened if i don get anything. he always say that bullshit bout how when u work, it comes straight from ur heart n u don do it hoping for recognition. but on the hindsight, u actually want to b recognised for the efforts uve put in. i mean think of it this way, i was never paid to do the work im currently doing at the border of the country and how i was thrust straight into action shuld actually be rewarded. i was thrown into the wilderness literally on the first day, albeit the fact it was 40 days ago, it feels like a fucking lifetime. the abilitt to be able to get away from all the current bullshit we're in is as tempting as the urge i have to go out there and get myself that packet of prata. only thing thats only pulling me back is the fact that i actually just went jogging and did crunches! im not gonna let all that hard work go to waste. and that actually applies to all that ive done at the border. i mean. i cud get myself that prata/go for the new job and pple will 4get my efforts from before/that madness of running cud go to waste in an instance! u cud that geist. its not put in place respectively in terms of the sentence really. n i know of a person whom upon reading this will kill me for writing like that.
in any case. the sights of many pple doing things that are usually done in private is quite irritating. its like sign from god in its most obvious form. its soo in ur face that its like the middle finger i show everyone in the morning when i wake up. god literally cut me open with a knife, poured salt on me and rubbed it in reallll deep. i cud die upon the posting of this but its true. it really is.
oh yes. stalling a manual car is my new hobby. i cant seem to stop. my left leg is retarded. is just doesnt wanna work with the right one. its like playing drums except that this one doesnt create any music/noise, it kills lives.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
