where the fuck are u.

20 hrs on. im awake. not feeling the least sleepy.
i swear i m gonna shit on the fucker if i find him. he has screwed up all my plans for the mth and cause the body clock to b stuck at 5 mar 08. i cant get pass that day. my clock is lagging, like that battery in the clock that sits on top of sum table in ur hse that ure too lazy to change. u shuld get my drift. anyhow. yes thats how it is. and i swear. if i fail my final theory. i will not be too surprised but i might just flip and personally sought that fucker out myself. GODD!

prolonged bullshit.

bah. its all prolonged now. fucking asses now wan it to b for another 2 weeks more. i obviously cant do 2 weeks more. im fucking bumped up all over my head. talk about disillusioned, disorientated and losing sense of time. that was used to describe msk himself but it seems to b starting to apply to me.

ineffiency kills me. i hate pple who are efficient. or at least more efficient den me. im quite lazy myself. so if u suck more den me, u really do suck in ur life. fucktard comes along trying to take control so ill gladly give him the post. i mean. ive been stuck there n i think some part of me just longs for being deployed. that way im not having to worry about whether everyone has had a smoke, food, water and rest. now its okay that i have to worry bout all those bullshit but the crap i have to listen thru the comms, all that whining bout how tired u are. crap dude. ive been standing too. and unlike all u fuckers, i didnt catch a wink if u didnt realise. so don u dare tell me ure tired.

ok tts enuff. back to the point. give u the post and u gladly screw it up. besides. u fucking keep quiet when im wrongly blamed. i mean. wtf do u keep quiet when u were handling the post, n i got fucked for UR mistakes when it was UR stupidity to begin with. man. i was no where close to doing deployment after lunch yesterday.

ive had enuff. sleepy time beckons.

waking up to this every morning.

every fucking morning tt i wake up to seems to be the same. i mean. if its in camp. it kicks off with er... brushing of teeth, the quick shower with me shivering my ass off with organsiations inability to provide a fucking heater and yet b able to waste money and useless things/pple, coiling of my extension wires, the putting on of my headgear and getting ready for roll call. tt sounds normal doesnt it. now fuck that and let me tell u what my day at home sounds like. fucking sleep doesnt actually exist. the iphone rings incessantly. its like my iphone goes in a trance. doesnt stop vibrating and starts that ringtone that i once used to love. i emphasised. once. and nowadays when the phone rings. its always me shouting jia lat jia lat. fuck man. im just doing my shit for 2 yrs and fucking offf. cant u guys give me some peace. argh. probably windys really efficient sometimes but others, windys tired. u dumbos. i have my breaking point too and i need rest. thts fr sure.

moving on. im starting to feel a lot. i mean. the pass 3 shifts have showed that if winsur forgets, the rest most prob wud, albeit a real few. i miss the old guys man. the new bunch are mostly wussies. i mean. how the fuck do u injure an arm if ure standing the whole day. the shift requires standing mostly. not fucking pushups, handstands and whatnots. argh. u dum fuck. why the fuck are these ass holes around me.

im starting to go back to that whole one paragraph of chunk that pple hate reading cos of all the anger. the disappoint is quite apparent suddenly. i mean. yay well done u are attached and moving on with ur life. but a year on, here i am stuck and not making any progress.

exactly 1 yr ago, everything was different. im so wanting to burn myself alive with the tot of another yr to go. i cud die just with that tot. windys got to change really. someone fucking kill me n stop scaring me with all the thoughts of my family plans screwing up in front of me.

oooh the disappointment.

firemen no poke his nose in policemen business. but only if ure not doing ur job.
u retards made me wait like forever to come to the scene tt day. and a few mths on, ure proving to me that ur force is nothing more den a joke. what the hell are we doing in this day and age looking for a man who is limping. im disappointed. and what took u soo long to bring me to action! firemen no like wait.

argh. uve been an absolute chess game to me. its like lets see who takes the first step n u seem to b trying SOO hard to draw me into action, in what seems like a pathetic attempt. well ive heard about cutting u like as though ure just a branch of absolute nothingness to me. but i cant seem to bring myself to do this. i mean. how the hell am i supposed to just let u die and rot in a foreign land. i cant not answer ur calls right. besides. unknown cud = sister, breastie, u. so choose one and i always seem to choose the wrong one. its like my mcq test gone seriously wrong. its always one of the other 2 that i don expect.

screw the issue with my bed in camp. someone abolish the need for stayin in camp now.