about 7 yrs ago at this time, my sister was embarking on her own journey overseas. i suddenly had a sister that i was soo close to growin up taken away from me phyiscally and ever since den. my lives been full of wrong turns.

well ure starting ur own journey now n it all is really ironic. i hope 8 yrs from now i don rem the same thing happening to another loved one of mine really. but anyhows. i think its all done n dusted, whether or not i was it to b. its not a choice n more of something i have to live with. freaking hate to live my life wondering what cud have been really.

the counter has gotta start n motivate me. here on out. i HAVE to make this a habit before i explode thru my clothes.

turn out turn out!

fucking hell. wat a day. fucking eventful 24hrs of my freaking life is more den an understatement. started off close to midnight when i decided to lay all my cards on the table n let you know how i felt. n u told me twice bout how u feel n thrice tt u'll msg me. i hope u're tryin to reach me really.

well im glad i wasnt there to send u off thought. n i swear it was work. im usually a pig n i wont wake up till probably 15 mins before time n rush like a madman. but this morning i woke up about 45 mins before time n i just couldnt get back to sleep after that. there was absolutely no reason for this. den i heard the alarm n den i told firt. fuck that shit. why isnt it us? we laughed n den got back to bed. freaking helllll. 10 mins n brushing of my teeth later, i was fucking rushing like a madman. my hands were trembling at the fact that i was actually going to save lives! but anyhows. i hoped onto the bus n we were off to incident site.

there were so many casualties lying down that upon arrival, we actually got REALLY worried. i mean. i havent seen an ENTIRE group of pple from the force not knowing what to do without our vehicle. it was apparent though that pple were watching n watching closely. i rem this fucktard taking a video so i started telling them non stop in my windy way to carry em carefull. n suddenly. we're on amateur video on the 10oclock news. this is just unbelievable.

2 weeks on.

wow. its been 2 weeks. i havent jogged for that long n that jog almost cost me my life.
breathless is an absolute understatement.

conversation with cat girl was weird. i, like winnie, am dying to know if its really her or shes just acting like that reallly. we have HAVE HAVE to know soon.

the iphone is due in 7 days. sisssy says its in her hands together with my limited edition havainas! and god knows wat. bangkok in 14 days too. wow. this is gonna b a january to make up for the worse december of my life. i mean. from start to finish, n i mean literally finish, it was certainly a december to forget.

leaving in a few days huh. i don know who u are anymore. ure weird. weird in fact is just not underlining the truth enuff. camp tmr sucks. im blabbering.

bah

fuck.
my worst fears are coming true.
me being locked up seems like a probability now. well i kinda shouldnt have given my freaking name. im hoping they overlook this n not have any records. if not. im fucked. i really am. fucked fucked fucked.

it happens to b worrying with everything thats unfolding in front of me too. it isnt supposed to b like that but after those words came out of her mouth. anything goes. everything is a possibility. and seriously. im freaked out. pls tell me im overreacting.

you fucktards.

as if the problems arent mounting already. these fucktards are irresponsible fruitcakes. how the fuck can u act the way they do. it just amazes me that these pple are such retards. why the fuck wud u wanna spend any time at all in a dark cell by urself. why wud u wanna put urself thru that torture. why why why? fucking idiots really. its time tp put friendship aside n start charging them. i really shuld. fucking asswipes. argh.

came back realllly early den usualy. given some time off. im gonna change n go visit soon. im starting to worrrrrie big time.